PAIN

She closed her eyes and gripped the sides of the bed tighter. The pain

shot from her centre to every part of her body, making her numb and

yet aware of every sensation. Her head hurt from the crying, her

raised legs were starting to cramp, and she could feel her nails

digging into the bed, hurting herself just so she could distract her

body and her brain from the pain in her belly. The nurse continued to

work efficiently, saying mundane things that sounded like they had

been meant to be soothing. The nurse pushed the metal again, and the

suction resumed.

“Just once mukwano. After this, it’s over.”

She steeled herself but once again, the pain knocked the breath out of

her lungs. She felt like her insides were being ripped out of her,

sucked into the large white syringe. She mumbled prayers under her

breath, prayers that came out along with curses and promises. In that

moment, she loathed him. She loathed herself. She loathed him. The

bile rose to her throat and threatened to choke the life out of her.

She didn’t even realise that the nurse had finished and was gently

urging her to some off the stoic hospital bed. It took another 2

minutes for her to accept that it was really over, and only then did

the close her legs and come down from the bed slowly. She remained

hunched over in pain as she received the clinic-issue sanitary towel,

and put it on with her white panties. The nurse led her gently from

the stark room that smelt of disinfectant to a new room, painted a

cheerful pink with low soft beds for her to rest.

The cramping refused to subside, even when she stopped crying and just

let it. Nothing worked: not the tea her friend had brought in,

sugarless with tones of ginger; not the coital position that she now

felt she would be in forever.

She closed her eyes and the pain washed over her like rain. It took

over, condemned her for the little girl…. or boy that was now no more

because they had been careless.